I spent so much time in life being miserable that I forgot what happiness looked like.
I Didn’t remember that it smelled like daisies and sunflowers on warm afternoons…or salt water beaches in the late spring…or rainstorms at 5:00 p.m. in the summer.
I had forgotten that it tasted like mulberries right off the tree…Like small, cold wet plums out of a cooler in a park…Like chocolate and cinnamon and nutmeg in a shake after work on a wednesday.
Forgotten that it felt like books under a blanket, graphic novels in a small corner of a bookstore, whole wall paintings in the art museum, block long murals and neon graffiti….
Forgotten that it sounded like live music in a basement…..remixed songs in a warehouse, breathless laughter from dancing till well beyond your face being flushed. Sounded like your heart racing, your blood thrumming through your ears..your ears ringing as you stumble home late with your friends after howling with the night for hours.
I had been so keenly aware that in life and in love and in death there is pain, heartache, and sorrow…But I had forgotten that there is also breath, laughter, and joy.
There is terror of the unknown…but there is also the sheer nervous excitement of the new possibilities.